WELL I'M HAVING A REALLY SHITTY FUCKING DAY! I woke up to a hang-over which like never happens but my stupid room-mate was smoking pot like all night last night so maybe I was a little high to. I dunno! I woke up with really painful cramps but no little friend (its late as usual) So those two things are not the best things to wake up so ya crappy then my bf mom calls and wants our tax stuff. I am then told I'm to go to his moms to do taxes. I was not asked I was told. I have seen how long it takes his mom to do any paperwork so ya didn't sound like a very productive day and I had stuff I wanted to do. So this pisses me off and my day goes from crappy to shitty. My bf and I sorta fight cause he's cranky and doesn't seem to understand I don't want to hang out with his mom all day doing taxes. I could find my tax stuff 'cause my room mate moved all the papers in the house around plus I just plain lost one so now my bf is mad and I'm frustrated and just want to start my day over (this is all before 1pm)

My bf leaves takes his tax stuff with him when I need them. I find the stupid tax form I was missing and walk over to my mom. Things are getting better but I'm all emotional cause ya I just am.

I do my taxes no big deal confusing but i finish in about an hour. Which is good since my aunt keeps sticking her stuff on top of my work. (one very frustrating woman but what ya gonna do she's family)I start working on my resume when my bf calls me back to "see" who I am doing. We get in this big horrible fight on the phone. His parents are yelling at us which by the way does NOT help at all. My mom walked by and saw that I was crying so her way of making things better was to give me liquor of some sort. (it was good but no idea what it was) The fight is over but I don't think it was resoved. He just doesn't seem to understand that he is hurting me by reminding me of oh better off he was before we moved out. He might of been better off but I wasn't. Living in Millwoods totally isolated me from everything! If i didn't have bus money I was stuck in his parents basement until I he drove me to work. I had to go straight home after work because buses stoped running. It took me a hour to get to bonnie doon. Millwoods is on the southside but the sad thing is that bonnie doon is also still on the southside just closer to downtown. I never got to see my friends or family. I lived in their house yet I never felt welcome there. If my bf wasn't there i wasn't even included in having dinner. When my bf got home then we would have to make our own dinner or go out. I was a little millwoods basement troll. Now thats a healthy lifestyle!

Now I'm back in school even though I don't really want to be in school I just have to if I want to do anything more then min. wage. He says my focus should be on school yet I get ragged on if dinner is not made and he fucking laundry is not clean. I am either in School! Or I'm a housewife you can't have both! I'm not suppost to get a job but I'm reminded how I don't contribute to any of the bills! well if i have no income how do i help pay for stuff.

He is going to the 4/20 show at riverdale hall and now I'm not because one I'm in a bad mood, two I have no money to pay for it, three no transportation since I can no longer drive since my family keep handing me liquor. Drinking should not be the answer to my problems! However I am not as upset as I was but I'm going to really regret this day if My stupid little friend doesn't come soon. I wanna go to the show but ya......

I am going to go home now to study because I have a sad and pathetic life. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!Maybe I should just stop trying to all this crap and run away. I deserve a break yet i never get one! I don't understand why my bf even bothers. I seem to make him so unhappy anyways. I've Had enough when is things going to go right for me. When can I stop crying and enjoy life? When is it my turn? The sad thing is that this is not the liquor talking it's me really wanting to give up. I know money doesn't make you happy but it can really fuck up your life. I really don't think think we are going to make it to august 14th. maybe its just not ment to be.